She Shines Through
by punkhale
Summary: Love. What a tricky, complicated little word.


**Author's Note:** I have not uploaded anything to this site in a long time and even I am surprised to find myself writing for this show. Victorious is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine, although I will admit that I mostly watch because Avan Jogia is gorgeous. I just love the idea of him and Tori together and this is what this short fic focuses on. I'm not sure if I will give it a sequel or not, it depends on how I feel and the reviews I get.

**Disclaimer:** Quite obviously I do not own Victorious. If I did I would not be writing fanfcition.

**_She Shines Through_**

She was a glittering light that shone through Jade's monotonous pessimism. His girlfriend had her good points but her obsession with death never left her and there was a flame of anger inside her that no amount of his love could seem to extinguish. But Tori was a breath of life that assaulted his senses, enticing him to inhale her optimism, her sunlight, her very smile.

It was wrong to want to sit closer to her at lunch, to wish for teachers to partner them together, to obsessively think of that kiss they had shared on her first day. He shouldn't think of a girl that wasn't his girlfriend in those kinds of ways. But he was happy around her in ways that he wasn't when he was with Jade. Was it so wrong to want to be happy?

But the truth was that Jade was supposed to make him happy. In reality, however, she made him irritated and mildly depressed. It wasn't supposed to be like that, not with the person you're dating. They should lift you up and make you feel good –make you smile and laugh and make your heart so happy it feels like it might explode from it all. Tori Vega made Beck Oliver's heart feel like that.

It was sweet torture whenever he was around her. He was happy, yes, but the guilt of it ate away at his mind. And he was always afraid that his heart would thud so loudly that when he was near her she would hear it –that he would give himself away. He was terrified to let Tori know that he was in love with her. And he was absolutely petrified by the idea of Jade finding out he was in love with Tori.

Love. What a tricky, complicated little word.

* * *

><p>Her hair hung loose around her shoulders as she thumbed through a textbook, pretending to read. Beck knew that she was only pretending because she got a distant look in her eyes that told him she was far off in her own thoughts. She was cute when she looked like that, unaware of her surroundings and his attention to her. They didn't have this class with Jade and it was his favourite hour of the school day.<p>

Which was wrong and he knew it. He had never acted on his feelings for Tori but they were there and that alone made him feel like he was cheating. He felt disloyal to Jade; he was betraying her love and trust –however much of that she actually had in her at least. Some days he wasn't sure if she loved him or just hated him less than everyone else. There was a sickness between them.

But that sickness didn't touch the beautiful brunette singer sitting in front of him. She looked particularly stunning at that moment, a fitted black skirt wrapped around her hips and a sparkling top adorning her torso, clinging in all the right places but flowing away from her body just enough to tease him. To make him wonder about the soft curves that lay underneath.

The teacher was saying something but he had no idea what and when he heard his name being called, an echo invading his personal thoughts, he knew his lack of attention had caught up with him.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Nevermind," the teacher replied looking disdainful. "Miss. Vega, would you care to enlighten us?"

Despite the fact that Tori had seemed to be off in her own daydream she still managed to prattle off an answer that made the teacher smile and go back to the notes she had jotted down on the white board.

Beck spent the rest of the class period watching Tori twirl her long hair around her index finger, longing to run his own hands through the silken strands.

* * *

><p>"I asked for a coffee, where is it?" Jade asked, a tone of annoyance stirring in her voice as Beck sat down next to her at the lunch table. He let out a small groan; he had completely forgotten she had asked.<p>

"I'm sorry babe, I got distracted, Robbie was trying to steal the last burrito. I can go back and get you one if you'd like." He gave her the best apologetic look he could muster. Not that it would make a difference, not with her.

"No, I'll get it myself," she said, her voice sharp as she pushed away from the table and stalked off to retrieve her caffeine fix. Beck took a bite out of the burrito he had wrestled from Robbie and his infernal puppet. Today had been an off day between him and his girlfriend and he was starting to feel her wrath as stress leaked into him. He couldn't make her happy and as far as he could tell nothing could.

Tori slid smoothly into the seat across from him and he looked up, fighting the urge to grin like a fool.

"Hey Beck," she greeted brightly as Andre took the seat next to her.

"Hey Tori, Andre," he replied casually. He watched Tori out of the corner of his eye as she stabbed at her salad, loving how cute she looked when she ate. He listened as Andre launched into a story about the song he was trying to write, enjoying the friendly commentary Tori provided. For a few moments he forgot about Jade and the forgotten coffee. Until, of course, she reclaimed her seat next to him, still looking angry. She made a quip about Tori's hair, using that terrible voice she insisted mocking the other girl in.

Tori rolled her eyes. "I do not talk like that."

Jade let it go but continued to glare at her as she sipped her coffee, pointedly ignoring Beck. It was her way of letting him know that they were fighting. Tori returned to her conversation with Andre, the two of them lighting up with the easy friendship they shared while Jade watched, wallowing in her own hatred. And there sat Beck, wound tight with tension between the girl he loved and the girl he was dating and wanting to explode from the war that was going on inside of him.

* * *

><p>"Hey Beck, you alright?"<p>

The boy in question lifted his head up from the locker he had it resting against. The last bell had rang and Jade had stormed off. He knew they were going to have to talk later tonight but the thought of it just made him more miserable. What was he supposed to say to her? He's sorry that she's so miserable? Somehow he didn't think that would go over too well.

And of course now here he was, alone in the hallway with the first and last person he wanted to see.

"I'm fine," he replied, standing up straight and shoving the last of his books into his bag, very aware of Tori's steady gaze on him.

"Are you sure, you've seemed kind of tense all day. Is it Jade?"

_Of course it's Jade_, he wanted to say, _she's driving me mental!_

"She's just in one of her moods," he said instead. "I'm sure it's fine."

He avoided making eye contact with her as she looked at him, her stare inquisitive. She didn't believe him, he could tell she didn't. When did she get so good at reading his emotions? The sheer fact that she paid that much attention to him made his heart race.

"I'm here Beck," she said, her voice soft, "if you need someone to talk to about it." She laid a gentle hand on his arm and he repressed the shiver he felt at the contact. It was bad enough that his heartbeat was going out of control.

"Thanks Tori," he said, his voice just above a whisper. He was actually surprised he was able to make any sound at all. The love he felt for her, the pain of his current relationship, and the conflict it was creating was all bubbling up in his chest and he felt like he was going to burst at the seams. And here was Tori looking beautiful and concerned about him and Jade was gone somewhere, sulking somewhere and he knew he should care but he didn't. He was more focused on not spewing his feelings all over the girl that he really just wanted to reach out and kiss. The girl whose smile made him melt and whose eyes promised something better.

And then she was the one leaning in and placing a light kiss on his cheek, a sensation that left him breathless and his body shuddering. He had kissed her before, that one time in class, but she had been acting then and so had he (for the most part) and it was not nearly as earthshaking as the small peck she had just given him. And then she was trying to pull away and he couldn't let her. He knew he should but he couldn't so instead he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug.

He felt her hesitation at first, her shock at the sudden contact of their bodies pressed together. They had hugged before but this was different and much more intimate. And after a moment he felt her wrap her arms around him, holding him to her. Neither of them said anything, content to just hold each other for a few minutes. Beck knew that she had to feel his heart racing; it felt like it was practically coming out of his chest. But then again, he could also feel hers which was keeping in time with his pretty well. He couldn't remember ever being so happy to hug someone in his entire life.

After awhile he loosened his grip so that she could pull away, just enough so that he could look at her but not enough that their contact was broken. Her eyes were fixed on his and he could see the emotions flashing in them. He wanted to lean down and kiss her; to capture her lips, which he knew to be soft as silk, and taste her sweetness and soak in her glow. He wanted to whisper in her ear how much he loved her, had loved her from day one and how she drove him crazy every time she so much as looked at him.

But they both knew he couldn't do those things, not now, not when he still had Jade to deal with.

"I'll call you tomorrow or something, alright?" he said, rubbing his thumb in slow circles across her palm. She nodded, her gaze fixed on the small movement.

"Yeah, okay."

He smiled and gave her one last quick hug before he fled from the hallway, knowing he couldn't be near her any longer. Not if he didn't want to make a stupid decision which he certainly would if he stayed in her company. Rather than submit himself to her charm he made his way to his car, dropped his bag into the passenger seat and set off toward Jade's house. It wasn't what he wanted to do but it was what he had to do. The idea of facing his girlfriend was a black cloud over his head and for a moment he was engulfed by it as it weighed him down into the darkness that only she could invoke in him. But he fought it back, focusing on the glittering light that was Tori Vega, and drove.

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><p><em>Please leave me some feedback, I would greatly appreciate it!<em>


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